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Will You Date a Foreign Guy?

This morning my head full of some thoughts about dating a foreigner,  cause in the office where I work as an internship, some articles talk about “Dating A Foreign Guy”. Fyi, I work at  Detik.com one of the most popular news company in Indonesia. Psst, let’s skip it.

As we know it will get so many Pros and Cons if we talk about it. So many people will think it is nice to date a white man, but in other hand they will just think negative about it. Well, for me love will come to you whether you are ready or not, you never ask about it, but it is just come when the right time is on your hand. Love will comes to you no matter how many time you try to deny it, no matter with local man or foreigners, love is love. Nothing’s different.

Here’s what I think about a foreign man; They are smart, loving, generous and exciting – but some people think they are defiant, tactless, infuriating, crafty and crazy. Foreign men are all different, but some of their characteristics stand out for all to see.

What makes them irresistible? According to Mpho Ngwekazi, a relationship and marriage counsellor in Johannesburg, most foreign men are brought up to be responsible. She says foreign boys are taught to take charge and take risks, get into fights, know their territory and to protect it and everyone in it. Some local women would not dream of dating a foreigner, but increasingly, and in greater numbers, locals are marrying or dating foreigners.

Dating a person from another country is definitely an exciting experience. On the other hand, there are actually positive aspects along with negatives involved in it.

It has different feeling when you date a white man. You can feel freedom being with them. I do not mean to make some comparison but if you ask me to choose which one I would like to date, I would choose foreign guy. You will see thousand call or message on your phone while you go out with your girls or boys if you date a local man, but with Foreigner you won’t receive such a thing. They are truly awesome and smart. You can pass such a lovely and best moment ever with them. You will always have good topic to keep the conversation going, and I swear to walk hand in hand with them is just the most beautiful thing in this world. But, as an Indonesian girl you have to ready for everyone that will keep staring at you and your white man while you both hanging out together. I know what’s on their mind; they always have negative thing to say to us – who dates white man. They think you just want them  to buy you the most expensive jewelry, Louis Vuitton, Loubotion, Hermes bags, or other branded stuffs. Or they may think yo date him  because their social status (it refers to their job whether as an expatriate in famous company or he has great job in his home country). Well they will always have something bad to say about you. Just keep smiling to those jealous eyes. You may think how could I know that? Ehm, I experienced it with my ex foreign man.

I think you don’t have to worry being in LDR, cause everything seems so easy to do in this millenium era. You can still feel he is so close yet so far. The key of relationship is to trust each other, keep communicating and be honest. That is enough to keep it works. No matter being in LDR or not, communication is always the key in a rellationship, eh?

Due to the advent of the Internet, more and more people are now getting themselves involved in a relationship with another person that is in a different country and with a different nationality. This is the main reason why social network sites like Facebook are getting more popular, aside from the fact that it helps to connect two people that are in this long-distance relationship setup. But before you date a foreign man in a different country, it is best that you first understand the advantages and disadvantages involved in it.

So now I would like to give you the advantages and disadvantage being in relationship with foreign man.

Advantages

  • It allows you to travel: If you date a foreign guy, there will be a big possibility for you to travel abroad or to the country where he lives. So if you are someone who loves to travel a lot, then dating a foreign guy might work well for you. Traveling abroad is also a great way for the two of you to bond with each other and get to know each other better.
  • Freedom to Spend: Although not all, but most women actually find a foreign guy attractive because of their means to provide for her financial needs. They find foreign guys striking because of their ability to be a responsible partner, which is what every woman would dream of. Most foreign guys are always willing to shoulder the burden of providing for the family’s needs, and thus, as a wife, your job is to mainly stay at home and take care of  his kids.

Cons

  • Cultural Differences:  When you date a foreign guy, make sure that you are open to the possibility that you two will have cultural differences, due to your differing beliefs, habits and practices. Because of the cultural differences between the two of you, there will be a big possibility that you will not get along well, which can lead to conflicts and arguments. It is difficult for a relationship to last if the two people involved have different views and approach in life.
  • Long-distance Setting:  Perhaps you’ve heard about the disadvantages involved in a relationship that is long-distance in nature. This is also true with dating a foreign guy from another country, for you will be physically far from one another. It’s certainly difficult to be far from your loved one, so make sure that you put this in mind, before you decide to hook-up with a foreign guy that lives in a different country.

Even though there are a lot of women who are very happy with their relationship with a foreign guy, such setup actually comes with several disadvantages, too. It is just a matter of how you and your partner will deal with such disadvantages and address whatever issues you two are being faced with. However, if you realize that being with a foreign guy is just not for you, then make sure that you tell your partner about it and be honest with what you feel about your relationship.

That is all what I can share for you. For everyone who is being in relationship with foreign guy, I know you totally pass a great moment with that guy. So happy for you guys! Enjoy every little moment with him, it must be a beautiful moment being with the love ones. Keep spreading the love around the world 🙂

PS; For you who have any experience or currently date a foreign guy let me know how does it work or just let us share each other thru ups and downs in this kinda relationship. Just leave your comment below 😀

Love,
Fefiana

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10 thoughts on “Will You Date a Foreign Guy?”

  1. I can’t believe that im the first who commented here !!!
    I loved your post ❤ … to be honest , im living a moment of Long Distance Relationship with an indonesian girl .I'm from Palestine . And I already wrote about LDR long time ago " i will post it here if you dont mind " .
    you are completely right in every word you wrote above .
    the good thing , while im reading the Advantages , i laughed because I've been with that indonesian girl for more than 2 years , and we usually talk about 4-6 hours everyday until now ,and we still have many topics to discuss everyday and never been bored with each others.
    This LDR is realy terrific.and im enjoying it because i got sick of my folk. However, with this indonesian girl , i feel like she is right here next to me. We are happy together and planned to meet soon.

    Here is my writing :
    Subject : Long Distance Relationships !

    Maybe some of us have tried the long distance relationships. However, I've heard from others that long distance relationships have failed and they have been just dreams. But that doesn't mean that every long distance relationship will fail! Be special and prove that relationships can successfully work even though being a crazy idea .Distance never separates two souls. There's just a weak wall and you can break it if you have a strong desire !However, the hardest stage in these relations is "TRUST" because if you can trust someone who lives thousands of miles away then, congratulations! You have reached your goal.Keep on and you won't feel the distance! Maybe you won´t get either a hug, a kiss or a touch. Nevertheless, you can talk to them ,hear them , see them and share all your beautiful moments with them. Think about how amazing it will be when you finally meet them! What would your first reaction be when you met them? Would these emotions and thoughts which you imagined explode at that moment ?Would they be worth in the the end? Why letting distance ruin your feelings for someone ! Feelings are feelings , Love is love.And that won't change. Distance means so little when someone means so much.My favorite quote goes like this: " Together forever , never apart … maybe in distance , but never in the heart " .It's enough . Just try it . And you won't lose anything. 🙂

    Written By : Mohammed Fakhri.

    last thing ,Thank you so much for such a great post and interesting one.

    Love,
    Mohammed

    1. Hallo Mohammed,

      First of all, thanks for visiting my blog, I am glad that you read my posts and took your time to give your comment here 🙂 Nice to meet you anyway.

      I just read your post, and oh… your words are so amazing. It amazed me, really! I am happy that your LDR still going on with, Insonesian girl. Cannot believe that someone who dates an Indonesian girl read my posts. 🙂

      I hope you two are always be together, all your plan will be work together. ameen.
      Keep posting and sharing your beautiful thoughts.

      Regards,
      Fefi

  2. Salam and Hi,

    Myself Sahil, living and working in Indonesia, during reading jakartapost i had seen your comment and visited till this page, nice to see your page and this post specially, i need some of your help, if you could i will be really thankful, please wrote me on sahilrizki@gmail.com

    THanks,
    sahil.

  3. Most American women won’t since they have a lot of American men to choose from. Besides, American men tend to think badly of American women dating foreign men because American men sometimes think all foreign men are bad.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      Yes, most Indonesian men also tend to think badly if Indonesian women dating foreign men, so much factors that make them think this way, especially about sexual problem.
      Here, in both our culture and religion we are forbidden to have sex before marriage, and so as we know that in Western culture it is a normal think, right? That is one of the reasons why.
      And some people will also think negative when they know an Indonesian woman date a foreign man they will absolutely that they have sex when they were dating and so the girl lost his virgin with that foreign man, in fact not it is not always true.
      But anyways, I read and heard that some of American women dating and even married with foreign men. And I have some Indonesian friends who married with American friends too 🙂
      Thanks for visiting my blog Lisa.

      Regards,
      Fefi.

      1. Even Indonesian men like any other Asian men are very possessive of their women just like Americans. There’s lots of negative stereotypes of foreign men that prevent women from dating them and forcing them to date men of their own country and culture even if they don’t like them just to be safe.

  4. Hi i am dating a Foreign guy and my fear is security seeing that he is in a foreign country and does not have a stable job yet ans my family is against the relationship i love the guy alot im confuses

    1. hello dear, I apologise for being to late at replying your comment.
      Well, having a relationship with a foreign guy – especially those who live far away from us is quite hard and so challenging! But it is also unique and fun at the same time. I’m trying to answer about your fear, have you met him in person before? Did you ask him about his job? It is very important to know everything about gim at first hand, darling. I know you love him and don’t want to lose him, but you need to know about his social life, his job, his family, friends and above all “his personality”, these are very important things to know before you start a relationship with any guys.
      I can only give you a little advice, you need to discuss with him about everything, you can tell him that you have problem with your family that they are against this relationship, and I truly hope you two will find a way to solve this problem.
      And after that, you can try to explain it to your family, do ot force them to accept him, but you guys can show it to your family that you two love each other and have a solution about this problem.

      And most importantly, you should listen to your heart darling, you know better about what you want to your life 🙂

      All the best,
      Fefiana

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