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I miss myself

I miss who I used to be and keep asking myself; who am I now? I miss every little thing in my life where I could just sit all day and night with no fears in life. The  only thing that made me afraid of-or-cried is just because I had some homeworks undone and everything about my fear was my study life. Now life seems getting harder as much as I’ve grown up. Many things came in life and I know what I’ve been waiting in life is now coming to me.

Many things I wish I could live in but when it came to me I felt like I wasn’t ready for this one. And I start judging myself that I can’t be someone I wish I could be that long time ago. Nonetheless, I am not that bad; I could still be someone I wish I could be when I was a little kid. Is it a definition of success? I think no. I still have so many things to do in life, so many dreams are  awaiting me to achieve. Well, I just miss myself, I miss to be a simple person. I miss something that made me… me.

…….

I’ve come so far, and sometimes I do not know where I  belong now.
I feel empty inside  most of the time and I don’t know why. It feels as if I am disconnected from the world most of the time, like something is missing in my life and I want it back. There was a time when I could laugh and smile, or joke about the silliest of things. Now I am constantly worried about the simplest things.
Now, everybody seems too busy to hold what they’ve achieved and too busy to do their own business. We almost forget about how time flies and we never get it back in another life. Life seems a bit cruel now and it makes me miss it.
If I could choose what kind of moment I would like to get back, I would surely say my chilhood. Where I can be totally me, with no pride and no ego. I miss how I could do everything I want and don’t care about what people said to me; the only matter is that what I did would make me happy or not.

That’s all, and this is as simple as how I could understand that life has changed now.

Fefiana.

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