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A little change is all I need

On this fine Monday afternoon, I got an idea to write about something. After chatting with a friend (he’s actually one of my readers too), I got an idea to write this post.
About something that I hardly couldn’t live without. Something that made me become a little bit bad person yet it made me a better person at the same time. It starts to confuse you, huh? Yeah, I used to spend whole days in my room, lying on the bed, and only put my attention on the screen in front of me.
I felt like I was in the third world, a world that made me feel so comfortable to get to know new things. To meet visual friends, and feel free to express my self, that sometimes I felt like I became a different person in this new world.

I read a book and some lines got my attention, it says, “An introvert person can be so active on visual world (social media)”. Firstly, I really deny it. But now I realize that it is true. Some reasons has been proven. But I am still me, when I talk to them, but may be I just feel more comfortable to express myself when I talk to them. It’s also because, they come from different country and the way they think, the way they wear clothes, the way the give an opinion is quite different with us, Indonesian. So maybe those were the things that changed me. Some are positives, and some are negatives. But I never regret it, we live to learn something and so we get lesson to be learnt of. Right? 

Mostly, when I was in High School, I destroyed my sleep pattern, I slept late night only to get a chance to talk with them because of different timezone that made us crazy. It is what I said as a negative effect, I got a bad habit ; I am an insomn, but it got worse than ever). I felt like the world is going to end when I did not get a chance to talk to one of them, I really forced myself to make a time for them. Forget about what happens around me, and even, I did not know how many new neighbours I had, that’s because I like to be alone and enjoy myself talking to them. And another reason is because I am so busy with study and work. 
Well, but in the other side, I got so many positive effects. I am more open minded, independent ( a lil bit),  confident, and more easy going. And of course, I could improve my English skills, I become a fan of English lesson at school. Most of time, I got good grade and nothing changed with my achievemnts at school. I told Mom about that. 
And about my point of view, it’s now totally changed. It is so easy for me to get to know a new thing, cultures, and people, it has been my favourite part in my life, to meet new people.

My body’s still here in Indonesia, but my mind, my soul and a half of my heart were going out outside. I went too far, far away to discover new things. To change about old perspectives. That makes me love every pieces about Italy. I have been learning about its languauge, so far so good. I can speak Italian to natives and so many good compliments I got when I start talking Italian. It is so easy to learn something when you do it with your heart, like me, I am madly in love with Italy; not only about the beauty of this country, but also its language, culture, people, the history and all. So I could put everything in my mind easily when my Italian friends taught me a lesson.
Well, back to the topic, for the past one (I do not really remember the exact time), I have successfully changed my habit, I stopped chatting like crazy with some of them. I’ve come to realize, that I need to get a life. This is something that someone has taught me. I enjoy my life with my college friends, hang out with them to try new foods, to explore new places that we never been there before. I did not realize it before, but just now, I think those are the things that help me to feel I am needed in the real life. Did I useless before? No, I meant, maybe that time I  feel more comfortable with my visual friends. But it is so good, that some of my visual friends came to visit me here in Jakarta. To meet in person with them, is one of the great moments in life.

I want to appreciate more all those kind hearted people around me. I should put in mind that they are the first people who willl help me when I need them (phisically), not only the kind and nice words to comfort me and cheer up my days. I need a real ones that can take me to a place to escape when I am in doubt or confusion, not only going to a third world, which sounds so taboo for some people.
But after all, I appreciate all of you, you are part of my journey in this world. I am so grateful to get a wonderful chance to know you.

With all my heart,

Fefiana.

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